Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
