I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Randomize
