She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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