What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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