Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
