Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
