So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize