the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
