he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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