next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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