I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
