some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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