just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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