No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
