I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
