I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
