drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize