so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i out mim tonsoeep
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