So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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