i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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