I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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