dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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