That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
