Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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