why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
