seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
