Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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