youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
