one might say we're banned from that church
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
