Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize