we have officially lost it.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
