I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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