Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
