Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
