I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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