Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
This is my gift to your gina
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
