Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
