Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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