TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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