have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Shame - the story of my life.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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