Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
