I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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