Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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