Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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