Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
