he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize