literally had 100 drinks last night.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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