well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
