have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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