maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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