Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
