we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
