I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize