So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm like, not good at living.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
