yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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