I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
