Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize