Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
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