i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
