Pappa wants mamma naked
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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