Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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