The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
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