I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
BRING THE BAGELS
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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