I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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