wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize