what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
