some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
