I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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