Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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